The Case for Ian Somerhalder as Our Favourite Fifty Shades of Fucked up

Read Dominion – my novel of Paranormal Romantic Suspense available at Description: 21-year old college student Eve searches for her mother’s killer and gets caught in an erotic love triangle between two beautiful identical twin vampire-killing vampires, Michel and Julien de Cernay.


I’m an analyst by profession. I analyse things to earn my daily bread.

Fifty Shades of Grey comes along and so I have to analyse it – analyze why I liked it. Analyze why women love it.

Forgive me.

I vote a million times for Ian Somerhalder as Christian Grey.

Here’s my analysis of why:

1. He’s the most beautiful man in the world. I mean, the man was a model before he became an actor and activist. You know he has to be among the 0.05% in terms of male beauty.  Yes, there are other hunky actors out there. But Christian Grey is special as a character. Ian Somerhalder is special.

There are just so many great photos of the man it’s hard to choose but I tried to find one that felt all Christian Grey.

Just look at these photos of Ian in a nice Christian Grey grey suit. Tell me you wouldn’t absolutely sign a non-disclosure agreement to get some of that. Tell me you wouldn’t want to go to the red room of pain with this Christian Grey…

Go ahead. Tell me you wouldn’t want to.

2. He’s a hunk of gorgeous manflesh suitable to the character. Christian is buff and fit besides being beautiful. So is Ian.

Look at him all wet and tell me you’re not thinking of the many shower scenes in the novels. Don’t you lie to me, girl. You know you went there as soon as you saw Damon all wet, his lashes sticking together, dripping…

3. He has the perfect eyes for the character. Look at them — they’re sometimes blue, sometimes grey, sometimes blue grey and always they are just drool-worthy with those thick black lashes.

Look in those eyes — I dare you not to melt into a puddle. When I read Fifty Shades, I couldn’t NOT see Ian’s eyes.

4. He has ‘just-fucked’ hair.

OK, so maybe that’s not the best example. But he has the “She wants to fuck me” hair. 🙂 Admit it. You do. You want to muss that hair. You want to see it all in a disarray because he’s just been well-fucked.

5. He can play all butch and dominant.

He knows what he wants. He wants it now. You know you want to do it.

6. He can be all hurt and teary eyed.

Some of the best moments in the novels are when Christian is all worried about Ana and their relationship. He gets hurt and Ian does a great you hurt me / I hurt.

7. He can look all cocky, like he owns the world.

You believe he is the master of the universe.

8. The very thought of him in multiple sexual encounters of varying types and places … well might I suggest we may need to talk Richter Scale results for the fan population.

I think those are pretty good reasons and make a pretty damn good case for Ian Somerhalder as Fifty Shades of Fucked Up – aka Christian Grey.

I came across the trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey recently and read all three books one after the other over the course of a week. As background, I am not a Twihard. I like my vampires with an edge, dangerous, and definitely not sparkly so when I found out it was a re-written Twilight fan fiction, I was hesitant to read it.

Not because it was originally fan fiction (I write it on the side), but because it was Twilight.

But when I read the reviews and discovered it was very erotic and had BDSM elements, I was intrigued. I’ve read a bit about BDSM and wondered how it was portrayed in the novel. Given how popular the books have become, I figured it must have really struck a chord with female readers. OK, I’m all titillated by the idea of power exchange. My curiosity got the better of me and in the end, I’m glad I did.

There was a lot I loved about the books. I loved the sex. I loved how Christian was written. I loved the many twists in the plot. I loved the change in Christian over the course of the books. And of course, I loved the romance.

There is something in the female psyche that responds to a dominant man, no matter how feminist we may be. (OK some of us don’t respond to it, but I’d wager very many do). It’s the caveman ethos, the idea of beauty and the beast. The whole being swept off your feet by a very devoted and lusty man.

I downloaded a sample chapter on my Kindle and read it over lunch. OK. This is a bit interesting. It wasn’t until he comes for Ana at the bar to rescue her from the predations of Jose that I was hooked. I admit — I liked the thought of Christian — Dominant super-in control executive — coming to the rescue of a drunk submissive Ana. I liked the vibes between them that the writer was able to generate. Then I loved his desperate need to get her in whatever way he could even if it meant he had to change to do so.

Romance crack.

So there you have it — the case for Ian as Christian.

Seriously, if he gets the role, I will, well, I will just freaking SCREAM! I know there will be literally millions of women joining me.


P.S. I’ve just started to think of who to cast as Ana. I have a few candidates.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead:

She’s young and beautiful. She can look innocent and glamorous.

Jessica Chastain. She can look ethereal in a Botticelli-like way:

I know she doesn’t have the proper coloring but she’s just so expressive and can transform from really glamorous to wistful and innocent.

How about Keira Knightley?

She has the model look, and look at her biting her lip — perfect. Couldn’t you see an Ian Somerhalder-Christian warning her not to bite her lip or he’d have to take action? Can’t you see her biting her lip on purpose just to torment him?


3 thoughts on “The Case for Ian Somerhalder as Our Favourite Fifty Shades of Fucked up

    • Oh WOW! Daenerys! I LOVE Daenerys! Game of Thrones is my other obsession. Daenerys is such a great character and Emilia is a great actor! I love her dark hair. I’d be very happy with her as Ana.

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